So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He has the fingertips of a God
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