So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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