check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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