its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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