God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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