oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
