i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
