Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
