shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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