did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
