so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
