There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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