what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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