you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
