i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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