Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
