I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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