Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
