You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
a search helicopter?!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
