Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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