why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
