i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
