no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
