Screwed.edu
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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