This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
