i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
