If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
