she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
