I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
