if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Life is so much better after having sex.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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