it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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