Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
