3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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