She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
