that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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