I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
