guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
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