in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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