I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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