Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
