11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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