i think my mom watched the whole time
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
