the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
