My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
pop tarts are not kleenex
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
40s are totally the cure
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
