pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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