I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
