I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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