apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
