when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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