drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
